twisted bundle of purple ribbon
Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on

We all inherit traditions from our families – holidays celebrated, foods enjoyed, stories repeated. Some bring warmth and connection, while others leave a hollow ache in our hearts. Certain family traditions held a bittersweet ache for me. They were like embroidery on my heart with unspoken pain, heavy expectations, and outdated patterns that no longer resonated with who I had become.. It was time to embark on a journey of unlearning, letting go of what didn’t resonate, and creating new traditions that reflected my authentic self.

Examining the Impact of Family History

It wasn’t easy. Unlearning involves introspection, courage, and sometimes confrontation. It meant acknowledging that traditions that once felt necessary could now be damaging. It became apparent that some traditions no longer aligned with my values. Some of my relationships didn’t bring joy and platonic connections. There were resentments and being in the relationships felt like an obligation.

They were holding me back from being the person I truly wanted to be. I learned this after asking myself serious questions.

These questions opened doors I hadn’t realized were locked. I saw how certain traditions perpetuated unhealthy dynamics, silenced voices, or stifled individuality. Recognizing the impact they had on me was crucial for moving forward.

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Photo by Pixabay on

Rewriting the Script:

Unlearning isn’t erasing the past; it’s acknowledging it while taking steps towards a more fulfilling future. Instead of rejecting every tradition, I identified those that held potential for positive change. I started small, tweaking them to fit my evolving self.

Family gatherings, once tense and obligation-driven, became opportunities for open communication and authentic connection.

Rigid family recipes transformed into flexible feasts where experimentation and personal preferences were welcomed.

Shared stories were revisited, not to be blindly accepted, but to spark discussions and create our own narratives.

Creating My Own Embroidery:

Unlearning isn’t just about removing from your life, it’s about creating new additions. Instead of old customs, I built new routines that show what I love and what kind of person I want to be. Nature trail walks and creative explorations replaced obligation-filled celebrations. Catch me outside where ever flowers bloom. Open and honest conversations replaced unspoken expectations.

These new traditions became anchors, reminding me of my growth and the freedom to write my own story. I’m a story teller.

Unlearning is a Lifelong Journey:

This journey hasn’t been without its challenges. There have been moments of guilt, fear of judgment, and the temptation to fall back into familiar patterns. But with each step, I become more comfortable in my own skin, more authentic in my relationships, and more empowered to create a life that truly reflects who I am.

This process is not just about me – it’s about showing my loved ones that change is possible, that traditions can evolve, and that individual happiness is worth pursuing.

Are you ready to Start on your own journey of unlearning? Start by asking yourself some questions, and embrace your truth, make a decision to change, and rewrite the script with new traditions that make your heart smile.

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